My life My perceptions

Okay, so originally I started this blog as I was trying to lose weight. I figured if I spent time typing it out I would stick to it. So nope did not follow through that way. But then I have since gotten a total hip replacement. As well as a bunch of other life crazy stuff. Now, I am just going top blog what is on my mind. I have absolutely always loved this time of year. When my kids were small we had no money and it was a major challenge just to get them the ONE perfect gift that they wanted. It became a key thing for me to make sure that there where presents under the tree no matter who they came from, but that the one special gift was from me. I will never forget the year I tricked Richie. He wanted a CD player, just a small personal one. That was back when they first came out and even a small one was like $40 or $50 bucks, high end of our gift budget. A friend of ours had gotten a CD player stereo and I asked for the box. I then placed the sheet and quilt set that Richie had wanted...

Question: Is an addiction a personal choice or a chemical/ physiological uncontrollable impulse? For me this is a seriously difficult question. I know some people out there believe that addictions can be easily overcome by nothing more then willpower. Yet everyday in the ER I work in I see meth users and alcoholics. They stand on street corners getting handouts "for food" and spend that money getting drunk or high. Never eating , or caring for themselves. I know some alcoholics that binge drink on the weekends. Never drinking at all when they have to be ready for work. It is ruining there lives and yet they still choose to do it. Is it by choice? Or is it a compulsion that overrides their thought processes to where there is no choice any longer? Why are some people able to overcome this compulsion and others can not? To me an addiction is something you can not controlled by ordinary means. In other words, a person can not simply say I will not smoke anymore, and walk away....

As anyone who has been following this blog knows it has been a while since I have been on. I started this initially to cover my renewed hope of losing weight. While I am slowly shifting the weight around, lost 1% of my body fat, the ponds seem to be staying. Yes, muscle weighs more then fat. I got that a long time ago. Just hate stepping on the scale after a month to only see 5 lbs gone. While other friends on other programs loose 10+. My diet issues are hard to over come. Not being able to eat the free calorie foods stinks. Add to that stress associated with family issues. I would think the pounds would be dropping off. Alas no. One of the big reasons I have not blogged in a while is because I did not want to spread my feelings out there on the personal things going on. It has been mentioned to me that it bothers people to read about themselves even when names are not mentioned. Interesting double standard that allows one person to blog whatever they feel but others can not. Question:...